Just returned from another Duncan Mystery Tour in the Magic Bus (or the Cupholder, as the Duncans call their Ford Starcraft...and it does have a lot of cupholders, but because the van is 20 years old, they are carved out of wood.)
I awake on the morning of Tuesday November 30th at 5 am and have to hurry to leave in order to be at Don and Carol's at 7am. Then transfer to D & C's PT cruiser for the drive to Niagara Falls via Tim Horton's, where Don has to buy a big breakfast (or at least as big as they can do in a Canadian Timmy's) for an acquaintance...although I misunderstand when Don says "he was soaked as a rat" and get it mixed up with "pissed as a rat". Anywho, uneventful journey
down, arriving in good time.
All pile in to the Cupholder where we are given loot bags of maps of the route, red hot tamales, $10 seed money for the casino and a lucky reindeer scratch and win lottery ticket. We have two winners - Carol and Malcolm. Then a nice border crossing over the Rainbow Bridge - no line-u
ps, pleasant officer.....this is a very good start to the adventure.
Drive to Clarence, Buffalo environs, to the Cracker Barrel for breakfast. We are seated at a great table in front of the roaring fireplace with Christmas Music playing...Much joking about the menu of course, nobody has grits or biscuits and gravy but we do have a slap up breakfast. Then we have "40 Minutes in the Gift Shop" where some of us manage to spend money...including Don, who has bought some handbells. Much time is spent in the back of the bus practicing the handbells and various tunes...the most successful of which is "chopsticks".
We arrive at the Lodi Station Fashion Outlets where the group is informed...40 minutes in the shopping centre. But it is a bit of a sad shopping centre - most of the shops a
re shut - but of course, we still manage t
o do some damage. Not least of all, Don, who is late back to the bus due to buying some fancy sneakers. But everyone is secretly pleased that it is Don and not they themselves.
Back on the road to Mansfield, Ohio, where we stop at a special gas station to eat Jalapeno Hots (fabulous hot dogs) and choose from many varieties of chips...
Back in the van we admire each other's choices and embark on a tasting of all the varieties of chips which have been found, including a blind taste-testing.
We arrive at the Best Western Hotel in Dublin Ohio at 5:40 - just 10 mins later than we had guesstimated. Irene is already there and we have a jolly reunion then into our rooms and meet up 20 mins later for our trip to Trader Joe's. Have a great "30 minutes" in there, managing to sample and buy lots of good stuff and then a tour of the town and the Christmas lights and back to the Hotel to the Spain restaurant for our slap-up birthday dinner.
We have the best sangrias ever, garlic soup, fresh, warm bread rolls with garlic butter and then very garlicky entrees - yum. Don's has a HUGE dish of paella and Malcolm some huge pieces of swordfish and what seems like triple helpings of all the sides. Don picks up an advertising slip for a girlie bar - he's calling it the Black Pussy Cafe & Chili Parlour and intending that he and Malcolm will go there later on.
Then we go back to Don & Carol's room where there is a delicious cup-cakes cake with an enormous candle and some Asti Spumante to toast Andrea and a lovely concert of Happy Birthday To You on the handbells. Off to bed pooped.
Meet at 7:30 am for breakfast at Tommy's Diner in Columbus. Delicious food and many laughs. Andrea proclaims that if we win the lotto we could go to Lapland to see the reindeer and Don says that that's where he and Malcolm had gone last night. Then he says that they had a special for Christmas: North Pole Dancing.
And then we set off again to the North Market in Columbus - meet at the door in 40 minutes. Followed by World Market , 40 minutes, and TJ Maxx, 40 mins, and then on the road yet again heading for Lehmann's - the Amish Superstore in Kidron Ohio. We have about 2 hours in there which goes way too quickly - what a place. Something for everyone.
Then back on the road to Erie and the Super 8 Motel for a quick check in and we waste no time going for dinner to the Quaker Steak and Lube where we have fancy lemonade cocktails and beer and wings and ribs (Carol has a tiny mac 'n cheese and a huge baked potato) and a great game of Simpsons Pinball, where Andrea beats us all.
Then off to the Presque Isle casino...
The first slots parlor to open in Western Pennsylvania, Presque Isle Downs & Casino features a 140,000 square foot clubhouse with 2,000 slot machines, 48 gaming tables
Malcolm and Carol - the winners of the lotto cards - carry on their winning streak and come out ahead. With the dingings of the slot machines ringing in our ears, we make our way to bed.
Sleep in till 8 am and meet downstairs and say our farewells to Irene and head off up the highway to Westfield Main Street diner where we meet with jolly locals and hear that the highway is closed.
Malcolm, a little worried about the bad weather, hurries us along and off we go again. And, yes indeed, the highway is closed and we are sent off. Luckily Malc and Andrea know the way, although there are some altercations. The snow is worse and there are large drifts and cars and trucks stuck and skidding. The Nagivator, as Andrea dubs herself, is reduced to cuss-words but the Cupholder comes through, helped by the snow tires, the Captain's brilliant driving and the Nagivator's coaxing.
Hardly any snow at all in Buffalo so we have 1 hour in JC Penney's and then on to Ted's Red Hots for hot dogs and fries, with the help of a coupon or two. Sometime during this day we also fit in a visit to Ollie's for some fine bargains and the Niagara Falls Fashion Outlet on Military Road where I declare that I can shop no more and will have to stay in the van. But when I spot a "Chico's" sign I am suddenly galvanised into action.
We all admire each other's purchases and tot up our bills and the Captain guides us through the customs at the Rainbow bridge where he declares our spending and the purpose of our trip but is chastised by the Officer and told not to talk and that She will Ask the Questions....which she does. Then she checks the occupants of the CupHolder and appears satisfied, although there was a hairy moment when she wonders if she will let us get away with not having an actual receipt from the hotel in Columbus!!!
We get a tour of the lights of Niagara Falls and finally arrive at Culp Street where, in the dark, we try and sort out all the packages and stuff them into the PT cruiser. Andrea is presented with the "Westfield Diner" insulated mug and her pink "The Nagivator" T-shirt (which Don had procured at the Fashion Outlet, having had to endure the whole life-story of the artist and then some...) Then off to Oakville and a re-stuffing into the Ford Caravan and I set off home, having had a brilliant holiday and a lot of fun and finished my Christmas shopping.
misunderstand when Don said he was "soaked as a rat" and got it mixed up with "pissed as a rat". Anywho, uneventful journey down, arriving in good time. 
